Ladies and gentlemen, fellow citizens of Blogville, distinguished dogs and cats, bunnies and donkeys –
I am honored to be here today to accept this prestigious award (Award? What award? Psst Pip, there is no award).
It was only a short while ago that I spent my days on the couch, watching daytime television, eating more sandwiches then I care to admit. Deep down, I knew there must be more to life than peanut butter and watching fights on The View …
(Pauses for bite of sandwich)
... finally after some good old-fashioned soul-searching and years of watching Oprah (pre Michael Vick), I decided it was time to take the leap off the couch and get back in "the game". Well, I was never actually in “the game”, but you catch my drift, right?
Mayzie: Wake me when he stops talking! Oh no, did I say that loud?
Madi: Yeah, yeah, I have heard this all before.
Bunny: I thought we were SHARING the spotlight!
One hour later
Neeko: Make him stop, please!
Sammy and Andy: I had the most horrid dream - we were surrounded by talking dogs!
Brudder Ranger: Wait a minute - am I on candid camera? MAYZIE!
Another hour later ...
Always do the right thing. Nice dogs don't always finish first, but they finish happy. Keep your head up (this is especially true for my small dog brothers and sisters). And remember, when life gives you lemons, eat ice cream.
Puddles: Somebody needs to stuff a cheeseburger in his mouth.
Alien: This may look like an ordinary brassiere, but it is actually an intergalactic space tranquilizer. Shall I give him a zap?
Rosie: If you don't, I will.
Now, many of you inquired about my recent post about stealing an entire pizza off the coffee table. My friends, it is true. The pizza was left unattended - and I seized the moment without hesitation. I grabbed that pizza and ran like the wind, swallowing whole pieces as I crossed the living room and then the dining room. I knew I would eventually be caught (and scolded), but I savored every morsel ...and I would do it again!
Blueberry: Did someone say something about pizza?
Wonderful, my first question from the audience ...