The Daily Pip

Promoting rescue, adoption and second chances for dogs, cats, bunnies, and their peeps

Monday, January 24, 2011

Ode To My Non-Dogness

I really wanted to participate in Mango Minster (sniff, sniff). I paced and I pawed night after night trying to make myself fit in one of this year's categories. But the truth is - I don't fit and all the magic pillows, workout videos, and quirky costumes will not make up for my lack of dogness.

What do you mean, real dogs don't wear bathing suits?

But then I read Tank's post and realized I wasn't alone. Like Tank, I am a non-dog dog. Now, we all know Tank is more dog than me, but whatever ...

Where did things go so wrong for me? I have a few theories:

Painful Childhood. Yes, I had a rough start in life, but LOTS of dogs have rough starts and few lose track of their core dogness. 

Poor me. I am sad and scared.

Feline Siblings. I was practically raised by cats and struggle with mild species confusion. I have even dabbled in (deep breath) catnip. 

Don't blame us. We turned out normal.

Urban Living. I have always lived in apartments and never had a yard to call my own. Real dogs have yards, right?

It's not much, but this park bench is all mine.
Dsyfunctional Parenting. My mom coddles me. I can't go anywhere without a sweater, jacket, or bandana. She doesn't let me out at night and she carries me EVERYWHERE. Many thought this insanity might end after she had a REAL child, but my friends, it hasn't ...

Late Bloomer. I didn't start blogging until I was 12. Prior to blogging, I had no idea what REAL dogs actually do! Who knew there was a whole world out there that doesn't involve sleeping on the couch, eating peanut butter sandwiches, and watching daytime talk shows?

This is WAY more fun than watching the ladies on The View fight.

Heck, I didn't even know squirrels were the enemy! Sure, sometimes I would see one run by the window, but I was clueless about their diabolic plan to take over the the world. I know better now - thank you non-dog dog brother, Tank.

But with the help of Oprah, cheeseburgers, and an occasional pumpkin pie, I have learned to embrace my non-dogness. 

I gotta be me! I gotta be free!


Hilary said...

oh pip... it is wonderful that you embraced your non-dogness, but I still think you are the perfect canine! Why do you have to live up to some crazy standard? It takes a brave man to admit that he dabbled in some nip...I love that bathing suit picture.. But, as for your mom, and your "Dysfunctional Parenting" i think you got that all wrong buddy..I think you scored big time in that department!

Madi and Mom said...

Mr. Pip not to worry Madi and I have found a category for you. We think there should be a category for either Mr. Congeniality or best K9 Comedian!! Pip you are hilarious!! Mom is ROF.
Hugs and purrs,
Madi and Mom

Anny said...

non-doggyness? is there such a worda? i am dog and i am dog breath and i get zipped up in suits and and sometimes i got "meow" from eating too much cat food.. and and and...

the bathing suit was super hilarious!! Your mom just love you to bits.. that's all and there's nothing wrong about being not too much doggy. Madi is right.. you shud be Mr Congeniality... or Mr Save the world.. or or or Mr Sleuth.. or or or...

We love you Pipster! dog or non-doggyness :)

woofs n licks,

Sammy and Andy said...

What a fun post....what a personality you have Pip!!!!!!!

They need to have a comedian'd win that paws down!!!!!!!!!

We love you, you cutie little non-doggy!!!!!! :)

Maggie Mae said...


Mom and me couldn't find a category dat I fit into to either.. *sigh*

Woofs and Licks,
Maggie Mae said...

Pip, you deserve your very own category. Any dog that can rock a bathing suit and sunglasses and look as cool as you is tops in my book!

Tank said...

It's not too often that my asst. and I laugh out loud while reading a dog blog Pip... but your post today totally cracked us up. We are definitely kindred spirits. The picture of you looking at the computer screen is our favorite. Hope everyone notices the titles of the books stacked beside you.

I'm proud to be your non-dog dog brother. Carpe diem.

jen said...

Mr Pip we think you are perfect just the way you are, even if you have eaten cat nip before;)

Brian said...

I agree with Jen too, and even if you are a late bloomer, you are purrfect the way you are!!!

rottrover said...

We love you Mr. Pip! Mr. Congeniality for sure!!

-Gizmo, Bart and Ruby

Amber DaWeenie said...

You is purfect in all da ways dat really count. Don't feel bad. Dere was no category for me eider. I needs a category for dose dat loves to eats and sleeps.

3 doxies said...

Oh golly, you just hads to go post sumptin where I has to actually THINK on a monday!
Nows in my professional opinion...I thinks you needs some professional helps. I suggest you "RUN" to your nearest therapist office and stay until....oh maybe Feb 6th.

Peoples told my mum hers feelings would change bouts doggies and animals afters da baby was born...didn't happen!


Minna Krebs said...

In da words of a famous-and-soon-to-be-former talk show hostess, the most important thing you can do is EMBRACE your issues and your true self! So, I am proud of you Big Boy, for finding the courage to embrace your non-dogness!

Frankie Furter said...

With all that "Baggage" it is just AMAZING that you have been able to Overcome and risen to become... head of the X-Paws and Blogville Chief of Detectives!!! You should go on the Self Help Lecture Tour!!! Your such an inspiration. You could have HOOOOOOGE Signs made.. Before Picture=Bathing Suit After= your Chief of Detectives pic..
You would make 87 bazillion green papers on the tour... and think of the Video and Book sales!!!! YEP... you are gonna be famous.

♥I am Holly♥ said...

What a wonderful post!!! Funny!!! We love you Pip! Lots of love, Holly and mom

Trixie, Lily, and Sammy-Joe said...

We love you just the way you are, Pip! You are one of a kind! Besides, you don't have time for Mango Minster. You have a race to get ready for! :D

Kitty+Coco said...

Try being a dog named Kitty. Talk about being confused! The great thing about being a non-dog dog is that you can totally rack up on people food. Just turn your nose up like, EWWWW, I wold Never eat that yucky kibble.
You really know how to wear a bathing suit.

Kitty and Coco

road-dog-tales said...

Pip - Dog OR Non-Dog, whichever you are, you know we love ya! Even if we're a little jealous at your adorableness that makes Mom go awwwww . . . Be yourself buddy! Like Jack Nicholson so famously said to Verdel in As Good as It Gets - "You're perfect just the way you are!"

The Road Dogs

Corbin said...

Oh, Pip... I think you're MORE dog than any of us! You're the doggiest there is... don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

George the Lad said...

Pip we love you because you are you.
Don't change a thing ;)
See Yea George xxx

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

See now we think Mango needs to start a new category for the Non-dog Dog. Bet it would fill up very quickly. We love Pip just the way you are.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Remington said...

You rock, Pip!

mayziegal said...

Well, better late than never, Pip! I didn't really fit into any of those categories either. I know Mango thinks that if you don't fit into at LEAST the Bad Sport category, you're in the State of Denial - but I've never even HEARD of that state! Maybe we could all start a therapy group. Non-Dogs Anonymous.

Wiggles & Wags,

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

Oh my, Pip. (ROTFBMTO) We has identity crises sometimes. I is supposed to be a herding dog but I used to catch wildlifes in my mouf and then not know wot to do with them. I would always let them go and not hurt them. Be that furry doglike? No. Then my sis, Sydney, wot be a mostly Australian Cattle Dog and is supposed to herd duss not herd but murders all rodents. She duss think she be a mouser and duss not like the kittehs becoz they do be competishun fur mousing so our kittehs have to live separately or she murder them too. So see, we is all dysfunkshional and I think that be normal.

ronniisramblings said...

Mee finks yoo is ALL DOG n mee lovs yoo regardless ovs anyfing so dere !


K9friend said...

All those things sound decidedly canine to me. I think you're perfect!


thedreadpiratejack said...

If I was yu my furiend I woulds ignore Little Miss I'm in heat she is all talk at da moment............BOL !

Butt seriously we is all different it woulds not do fer us all to be da same now woulds it ?

xx xx

Tucker said...

Pip, it's ok. You are an individual and refuse to be pigeon-holed!

houndstooth said...

Pip, Lilac wanted to enter Mango Minster this year, but she didn't fit into a category, either! It's okay! You just have to be the best you that you can be!


P.S. You still aren't going to be as fast as me, though! I've been running every day.

Kristin G. said...

You are adorable just the way you are Pip!! Don't change a thing. Well, maybe chase a squirrel or two. Zoe says they're evil!!

sprinkles said...

OMD, I love that last picture, Pip! Soooooo cute!!!

Your mom is really pretty.

HoundDogMom said...

Pip, I think you can do the side event that Baby Rocket & Hootie are doing. Your costumes are great but I don't think they will make you run faster. Smooches, The HoundDogs

Asta said...

You made me get a teaws in my eye at fiwst, but then i wealized you awe a pawfect doggie as faw as i'm concewned..I'm a tewwiew who lives in an apawtment, nevew digs, fowgets to bawk at skateboawds and squiwwels, eats in westauwants, weaws clothes, plays the piano, and has cocktail pawties..thewe is mowe than one way to be a dog and you my deew fwiend awe a pawfect one
smoochie kisses

Santa, Minnie and Christmas said...

Oh Pip, we just love you the way you are! Your bathing suit costume looks great for Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie's Costume Contest.

KB said...

Pip, please embrace yourself! There should be a "cutest dog" category because you would definitely win! You also would win the most tolerant dog category, putting up with the costumes that you wear! You're the greatest, Pip, and don't let the silly Mango contest get you down!

Neeko said...

Hey Mr. Pip, my best Friend!

I just LOVE the picture of you in the bathing suit and your Great sense of humor :o)))
Not to worry my Friend because your uniqueness is Pawsome!
After reading your post I came to the conclusion that we were practically separated at birth. The other night, when it was below zero out, my Mommy put PINK boots on my manly feet; can you believe that??? At least she did not capture my embarrassment on camera…
Don’t you ever change anything about yourself!

Neeko :o)
P.S. Your feline sister are so funny :o)))

Wyatt said...

No worries Pip, You just have to be your own dog. Believe me, you are just pawfect!!
I bet you could take on that squirrel, if you put your mind to it :)


Lorenza said...

I guess my comment got lost!
I was saying to you that I was worried when I started reading your post but then at the end I saw you were feeling much better!
Oprah would be happy to know she helped you!
Kisses and hugs

Pepsi the Lazy Bum said...

Oh Pip, don't worry about not fitting in any of the category. Like I said to Tank, if you understand Puddles Talk, you're definitely a dog! :)

& remember, you're the FASTEST DOG!


Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Of course you're a dog, Mr. Pip! You're Dogblogville's Chief of Detectives with a badge and everything to prove it. You're running a much anticipated race against a greyhound, the acknowledged Super Champions of doggie speedsters and you couldn't be doing that if you weren't a dog. Greyhounds might chase another species, but they would only race against another dog. We think the Mango Minster categories are representative but not exclusive of dogginess. Next year the categories may focus on different aspects of dogginess and one of them may be a perfect fit for your many excellent attributes.

Did Puddles plant these ideas in your head, so close to the Big Day? Banish them at once and concentrate on your race training!

Jed & Abby

Roo said...

Pip!!!@! What the flip?!!!!! Listen here my furiend. You are a dog. You may want to be a cat sometimes cause you like where a sniff of catnip can take you (wanna be hippie)but you are not a cat. Read my teeth...YOU ARE A DOG! K, enough said. I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense again.

Waggin at ya,

Samantha said...

Oh Mr. Pip!!! You are definitely a DOG!!! As doggeh as dog can be! Heck, we are always gettin' into Ozzie's food and... gasp... used to get into her... well... that was when she was allowed outside - Avalon and me now compete for da kitty roca heheh. (Unfortunately, we still aren't allowed to visit...) So... you get into a little nip, wear stylin' outfits and had a few probs as a child - never fear... we think you are 100% doggeh and like Santa, Minnie and Christmas said, enter yourself into an MM side contestie!!! You are so cute in that swimsuit and we LOVE that last photo!
Sammie, Avalon and Oz

Sammy and Andy said...

Darlin' Pip, thank you so very much for helping make K-Boo's 12th birthday so very special.


Hilary said...

Pip.. I thought of you, and this post on my way to work this AM. I saw a dog, who looked just like you, wearing a sweater, being carried by his mom. So, guess you are not alone!

The Sprollies 'n' Border Collies said...

Pip, you're brilliant! You're wonderful! And do you know what - you're NOT a dog! Well you are. Sort of - in species only! It's Ok - humans can act like dogs too!

Genista Gold Milaika said...

Pip you are ALL DOG and we wouldn't change a thing about you! You sre soooo funny, we love you Pip.
Princess Kisses

chicco1 said...

Oh Pip! In my opinion you are perfect just the way you are...and also you are so cute with sunglasses!ahahah!

Woof,woof, Chicco

Sarge said...

Hey Pip!
Wow, I actually think you are fabulous! No changes necessary. We all love you for all of your Pip-ness! We wouldn't have you any other way!
BTW: Could you please email me at lfurman1987ATyahooDOTcom It may take me a few days to get back to you, but I have an idea to share with the Chief of Detectives!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Hi Mr. Pip!!! Thanks for visiting uSSSSS! Mommy thinks you are just about the cutest woofie she has seen!!! You are purrfect!!!

Winnie said...

Oh Mr Pip!! I think you are wonderful, dogness or non-dogness.

You are so special I don't blame your mum for keeping you close and safe all the time.

The Lady Of The House says thanks for following her on Twitter.

Love and licks Winnie

Oskar said...

What a special story!

We're going to use that last picture on this post as our PBU photo of the day.

Nubbin wiggles,

The Teacher's Pets said...

Okay, Pip, you had me at "The View" and I never stopped smiling after reading that you think the world is much better now that you've spent less time watching the ladies fight on "The View" and more time blogging! You are soooo hilarious, Mr. Pip! Don't feel bad about not being a pawticipant in the Mango contest beclaws of your have other issues to deal with and that issue is....well, being too darned cute! Amen!

Pup Fan said...

Raised by cats... hehe... :)

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